Still thinking of Alex

Last night, I had the first dream of Alex, that I woke up remembering, where he was still alive. We were shopping in the mall, of course, where else would we be! Since he passed, my dreams have all been about life since he passed, but last night I could see him, touch him, and hear him. When I woke up I tried so hard to go back to sleep and capture those moments again, but they were gone. I look forward to more dreams of him. I have reached the point where I smile much more than I cry when I think of him.

The other day we were going through a box of clothes Danielle had sent that Austin had outgrown. By the way, I love hand-me-me-downs for my kids because it reminds me of how excited I used to get as a kid when I received my box of clothes in the mail from my Aunt Jeanie that my cousin Tiffany had outgrown. I vividly remember that excitement of going through the box and looking forward to when I could wear them. Anyway, back to Austin's box. Shane was pretty excited too, especially when everything was fitting perfectly. Hallelujah! I do not have to buy Shane any new pants for a while. The Alex moment came when I pulled out a pair of fancy designer jeans. Ok, they were Guess, not Versace, but still the nicest I ever buy are Gap. They had these cool pockets and just looked like something Alex would wear. Only Alex would buy fancy jeans for his son. I need to call Danielle, because there is a tiny chance she bought them, but am going to bet money that Alex bought them. By the way, they are pretty awesome and look very good on Shane. Brian and I got a good laugh out of it and it felt good to laugh about something that was so Alex. Which, not sure if I ever posted it on the blog before but I may be the only person in town who owns a 9 month Versace overalls and white tuxedo shirt. Yep, Alex bought that when Shane was born. They are super cute, but I used to put Shane in a one piece under it because I was so afraid to get poop on it. At that time, that outfit cost more than anything I owned. And it was dry clean only, which should be illegal for baby clothes. In Alex's defense, he worked at Versace, so he probably got it for pretty cheap by Versace prices.

Shane and Myann were sharing Alex stories the other day. Shane said he still remembers when Alex was watching them all one night in Dallas, while all us moms went out for dinner. There were crazy thunderstorms and tornado watches in the area. Alex was so afraid of the tornadoes and being in charge of all the kids that he took them into my mom's bathroom and piled them all in the bathtub and that was where they stayed until the tornado watch ended. I really wish there was a picture to capture that moment of Alex in the tub with 4 kids. They both have asked to keep the remembrance cards from Alex's funeral by their bedsides. Their love for him and desire to hold on to his memory just warms my heart.