Sledding

One of Aunt Sunny's last days here and we decided to venture up to Mt. Spokane for sledding. The trip there was less than enjoyable, and definitely one of those days where the end fun makes it all worthwhile, but as 3 kids were whining and complaining, it made us rethink our plans.

Shane is my daredevil trying to go as fast as possible. For the beginning, Anders was happy to be with us, but by then end, he wanted to go all by himself and told me just that. So we did and he survived.





Anders going up the tow rope all by himself.

Grief

I do not know how I am going to get through this day or this week or this year. Right now I am suffocating and have that feeling of not knowing when I will breathe normal air again. I do not know how I will face Danielle, or Lexi, or Austin or my mom. I need to be strong for them, but I know that one look in their faces and I will lose all composure. Brian is so busy being strong for me that he can not even properly grieve. I thought I had prepared myself for this day. I did not want to fully admit this day would come, because that seemed like I was losing hope, but I knew there was a chance and so I played out how I would feel in my head. My head had no idea. I am in immense physical pain, I feel Alex's loss at my core, and then I feel guilty because it is selfish. He is healed now; he is not in pain; who am I to complain of my agony when I should be rejoicing that he is in Heaven.

So I will grieve a bit longer and then I will honor my promise to him to take care of Danielle, and Lexi and Austin.

Manzanillo

Thank you to Richard and Merrilee for taking us on a trip to Manzanillo, Mexico. We left the kids in Texas with Grandpa Jo and Grandma Anne, thank you so much, and we went with Brian's siblings and Merrile and Richard. We could only go for 4 days, but we had a wonderful time. Lots of Mexican food, probably too much, but no illness. I was having some pregnancy nausea, but ginger pills were working wonders, and Brian's family was kind enough to give me preferential seating for the car rides.

Here are some photos of our fun, I was a less than stellar pregnant person, but I had fun and this baby will love adventure. Not to mention, the car rides were rougher than the 4 wheeling or horseback riding.