I do not understand where the time goes, ok, so I have an idea...the computer - more on that later. But I do not seem to have time to do anything and I should. I can barely keep up with day to day life, much less tackle new projects. How does everyone else have time to do projects? Just to blog I must sacrifice sleep. I used to work part-time, and thought when I quit working I would replace that time with projects, but the time seems to disappear. I guess exercise has consumed a lot of that time, then the subsequent shower and clean up. BTW, not giving that up, I have never enjoyed exercise as much as I do right now. It is time alone, it gives me energy to deal with the kids, and it puts me in a much better mood. Next week I can't exercise, so I suspect it will be a miserable week - but wait, maybe I will get other projects done (yeah right, probably not). Why can't I exercise, I am having contact allergy skin tests where they put 80 metal disks all over my back. I had a horrible allergic reaction last week around my eyes. It was so bad Wednesday that I didn't leave the house and the other days, I wore my sunglasses 95% of the time. Brian was thrilled to be out of town because I looked like someone punched me in both eyes, he was gone, so couldn't be blamed. So next week we try to figure out what caused the reaction, but I can't shower and can't flex my back muscles. Sorry to anyone who may be around me, I will be grumpy and stinky.
More mixed emotions...Shane starts kindergarten in OVER a year and it is freaking me out. I can't believe he is so close to school. My poor mom is who I call when I am having a rough time with the kids, so she has suggested I put Shane in preschool 3 days per week. To give me more down time. Mom, I do have lots of good days and hours, but sadly you get called for all the bad moments, so it seems like the bad outweigh the good. Really the good is so much better than the bad, and lately the bad has been minimal. Maybe that explains the mixed emotions. I don't want Shane away from me more than he is already. Once he starts kindergarten, that is it, he will be in school full time 9 months out of the year and then off to college. So I will never have time like this with him again, so even on the tough days, I want to spend as much time with him as possible.
Where did all this come from? I started hiking with a group of ladies and their children are adolescents or teenagers. They are experiencing typical teenagers who don't talk to their parents and want to hide out in their rooms. Shane talks to me A LOT, so much so that I can't imagine he will ever not talk to me, but hearing these stories is making me appreciate this time now, because it will end. I am really trying to focus more on enjoying the talking and snuggling, because one day I will miss it. This is a challenge for me, because I REALLY value my personal space and quiet time. God thought He would be funny and gave me 3 children who love to be in constant contact with me.
As for the waste of my time on the computer, I am setting rules and cutting back on my computer time. It is a little hard because with nursing, I am just sitting there, and my hand immediately goes to the laptop to check emails or search something. But with Shane and Myann, I just enjoyed nursing and focused on them. Poor Anders already has an unnatural obsession with the computer and I am pretty sure it is because I am always on it while he is nursing. So expect to see me on the computer less. Once I quit nursing, I hope to only be on for a short time in the mornings and short time in the evenings. Wish me luck!
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2 comments:
I love that you put kindergarten in the same sentence with college... they're not THAT close together! Seriously, though, I signed Harry up for preschool today (two mornings a week) and bawled the whole way home, so I do know where you're coming from.
Good luck with the allergy test, let me know if you need anything!
Kari - The demands of being a wife and mother of 3 young children sound absolutely overwhelming to me. I think you do an awesome job. Your children are so fortunate to have a mom who spends quality time with them everyday. I read your blogs and it seems like you are always doing something special with the kids. You put them first every day so it makes sense there won't be much time left for anything else! I think you are being too hard on yourself.
Yes, your baby is growing up. But he's not going off to college for along time!
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